Where do “we” go from here?

We have all heard it before….Flight. Fight, Freeze! It is followed by the questions, what is the norm for you? Well Lacey was sitting there with her irate ex hurling insults at her at her job. She could feel herself shrinking and shrinking. The anxiety filling her throat. Should she run? Where could she run? He was blocking her office. Everyone was gone so she couldn’t ask for help. Does she play tough with the risk of her ex striking her then she would be forced to call the police this time. Last time she just froze which made everyone upset with her. What does she do? A million-thoughts raising? Her temperature was rising. She was being triggered in so many ways and she had worked so hard to get to this point. Two years of intense counseling, losing several pounds, 1000s of hours of mediation and reprograming to rewire many years of negative thinking, irrational behavior and trauma response and now it had all come to this moment. The patterns had intensified. It was almost as if he had an inside spy. He knew her every move. Was he tracking her again? How could he get that nearby? She followed all the precautions. She created a safety plan. Who was the person she was trusting that was running back to him tell him her every moving? This person was knowing risking Lacey’s life. She felt betrayed. She had very few friends and very few people she trusted with the inside information about her next moves and step.

Let’s define a bully! A bully is a coward. A bully is a person with no power but seeks power due to insecurities. They have a false sense of security and Lacey was at point that she was tired of being bullied around. Something had to change because she was at her breaking point again. The continuous passive aggressive attempts to control, lack of financial support, and constant criticism on every move. Why are you doing that? Why are you buying that? Why do you live there? The constant reminders of lack of control.

However, when Lacey asked for help or advise there was never a response. No one ever stepped in! Nothing! Therefore, she decided to live her life on her terms and decided what was best for her children and herself. It was hard because Lacey always put the needs of others before her needs. It is something she had started at very young age, and it was very hard to break.

What do you want? How do you want to shape your life? What is your destiny? What were the promises God made to you at a young age? Now almost middle aged, it was very hard to think those dreams could be met. She knows that God promised her she would someday be a great writer. God promised her she would be an entrepreneur and a speaker! She would travel the corners of the world tell her story. She would encourage an influence woman and children. Those were God’s promises to her. She knew that and, in that moment, she realized she had to fight for that. Who cares what he thought? Who cares what the threats would be? Who cares? She had to put her foot down. Her life was and the life of her children was going in a direction that she did not like and she had worked too hard to turn back.

This is the moment the rubber hit the road. Therefore, she took a big breath and said “Hey, if you are upset go outside. The children are not here and when they get here, I will send them outside to you. I would like to request you go out the building (and advised him that cameras were present and recording). That was the first big step. The normal response was to run but this time she did something different. This time she was able to protect herself. This time she had a witness. She was finding her strengthen. One small victory however, in a right direction. It was in a different that put him on notice.

….to be continued